"Then the LORD God said, "It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him."
In my 24 years of life on this earth I have come to know about myself that I'm not good at making and keeping friends. And as if having had some sort of epiphany, I realized today where the problem began and perhaps even the reason why, but I know that only the Lord truly knows why. Over 7 years ago I was writing a goodbye letter to one of my favorite group of teachers in high school, Mr. H, Mr. Nunn and Mr. Fischer, my U.S. History, Journalism and U.S Lit professors respectively. In my letter I wrote about a song, if I remember correctly, by Carole King titled So Far Away, a song about long distance relationships. In my letter I described how hard it was for me to accept that everyone I ever cared for, as far as family and friends goes, either moved away to another country or changed schools or moved to another, farther, part of town. I thought perhaps, during that time, God was trying to teach me a lesson of some sort, now I know He was, but I couldn't understand what at the time.
Well during my epiphany-esc experience on my way home in a cab tonight, i recurred to a season in my life and it all made sense. My best friend since I was born, who was my next door neighbor, whom I was extremely close to, moved away to another part of town far far away from where I live and have lived my whole life. My godmother moved to Miami, my godfather to New York and I never heard from him again. My favorite teachers in middle school and high school all went back to their homeland in the US. My best friend in middle school changed to another school, my second best friend in high school moved to Miami; and finally my best friends in high school all went to NY for college and left me behind. I was left alone in this city when all my life I had longed to move away to another country, the friends I loved most left me and that left a scar.
Ever since then through college and even now after having been a Christian for over 4 years, making and keeping friends has been hard. At first I thought it was the other person's fault but then I realized I was the one at fault, it seemed as though I would push people away when we became too close, perhaps in fear that once again I would be left behind or abandoned. But the Lord did not make humans to roam the earth alone(Genesis 2:18), like the famous phrase says: "no man is an island", the Bible even gives us great advice on making(Proverbs 22:4, 28:7, 1Corinthians 15:33, Ecclesiastes 4:9-12), loving(Job 6:14, John 15:13, Proverbs 17:17, 18:24, 27:6; Romans 12:19-21) and keeping (Proverbs 16:28, 17:9, 29:5; Proverbs 27:10) friends and more importantly it teaches us about the ultimate friendship, with God(James 2:23, James 4:4, John 15:14-15).
My prayer is that the Lord will heal my wounds and through His word and the Holy Spirit teach me to love the friends and family He has given me.