3:35am and My Head Wont Shut Up...

I said there was a lot I needed to say..well here goes.
I had been thinking about all the people who hate that I'm a Christian and who desperately want the old Rita back. And its funny, when I needed these people they weren't there, when I wasn't interesting or fun enough they all bailed out, but now that I'm happy, that I threw out the old clothes and have dressed in new ones, now that God picked me up and made me whole again, now is that they want me back. Well among the obvious reasons, here's a list of things I have been given because of my decision:
1. Happiness (What I had been seeking all my life)
2. Love (What I desperately needed)
3. An amazing relationship with my Sister (Its a long story, point being: I hated my sister and I think I was not her favorite person either and now its like we're kinda sort of best friends)
3. Truth!
4. Self-esteem
5. A Clean Slate
6. An Amazing Church!! (I LOVE my church, its like a million miles away from my house, and a lot of people have insisted I go to another one closer to home, but it is the church God has given me and the easy way out is not always the best solution)
7. Internet Friends Who Care about me! (Christian internet friends)

And the list goes on...
God Bless!!
- Rita M.

Life, Love, Faithfulness and Grace

I have so much I need to say...First of all I had the most wonderful 1 year being a Christian anniversary. God is sooooo amazing, during down time, during the best of times. And I just happen to be a witness of His eternal Grace, of His unfailing Faithfullness, of His love. I had been in such a desert, I had stopped reading my bible, I had stopped going to church for various reasons: 1. No transportation 2. No friends there 3. No desire...It feels terrible when you want to go to church and at the same time because of the situations feel so discouraged. But I prayed and prayed and I argued with God, and had no specific answers for months, 2 months to be exact. God let me know He was there and He knew my situation but I wanted to know when the desert would end when would things be like at the beginning. Almost 2 weeks ago God answered my questions. I had gone to church early, it was the first time I had been there for the first service in 2 months, and Pastor Miguel was talking about God's Grace and what it meant and how it worked. And I just felt my heart sing out to God to rain his Grace upon me, it was amazing because saturday oct 21st, at 3:00am I couldn't sleep and so I layed there on my bed talking to God about my problems once more, about wanting Him to rain His grace upon me, and the next day there I sat listening to the Pastor talk about God's Grace, how it is not gained, how it is undeserving, how it is through Jesus Christ and how it is given by God. It sounded like me, the last thing I deserved was God giving me what I had wanted so since day 1 at that church. After the service I happily went over to the nursery to see if they needed any help, but they didn't, instead I was sent with the Youth Pastor's Wife(she has a name I just don't know how to write it *blushes*) as her assistant for Sunday School (Ages 5-6 Group). For the first time in a year I had opened up to someone from that church and it was to her, she was SO nice to me and asked me all these questions about me and my life, she was a friend when I didn't actually feel like I needed one and it was great! But it doesn't end there, I had such a great time being an assistant and I expressed my happiness to her and she suggested I signed up as one! and I did! Finally! I had wanted to be a part of that church so badly, to be in one of the ministries! and I will finally be in one! So last sunday I went to the info booth and signed up! Oh my heart leaped with joy! And that is how the desert ended. God showed me Grace in such an amazing way! He says that when we are unfaithful to Him, He remains Faithful. Faithful to His promises, Faithful to His word. And He did.
I had been wanting to write this for so long, a week and 2 days to be exact. I'm glad I did.
Its so weird though, to be "alone". I had always had someone to talk to, or go out with. But now I walk the halls of my uni alone, I walk to the cafeteria alone. I go to church alone, or with my neighbour. Its strange really. I've grown to like it somehow. Sometimes I sit and wonder of all the things I could do. I've thought of going to "El Sitio de las Palomas" with my bible in hand and sit there and read while talking to God. Or walking the streets of La Zona colonial and see where God leads me. Bah, I'm rambling now. It's late, 3:30am to be exact and I think I better be off to bed.

God bless you all!!
Sleep well,
Rita M.

Why?

Today has been quite a day, I've been reading my bible, Isaiah to be precise (I knew this would be my fave book) and I've been in awe with what I've read not because I didn't know it but because reading it, understand it and knowing it just leaves me utterly amazed. And so I ask why do we not trust God? Why do we fear for our salvation when we've sinned? Why are we afraid of the enemy? Here I leave you some of the more encouraging words of God.

Isaiah 40:21-24


21 Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
Has it not been told you from the beginning?
Have you not understood since the earth was founded?

22 He sits enthroned above the circle of the earth,
and its people are like grasshoppers.
He stretches out the heavens like a canopy,
and spreads them out like a tent to live in.

23 He brings princes to naught
and reduces the rulers of this world to nothing.

24 No sooner are they planted,
no sooner are they sown,
no sooner do they take root in the ground,
than he blows on them and they wither,
and a whirlwind sweeps them away like chaff.


Isaiah 40:28


28 Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
The LORD is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and his understanding no one can fathom.


Isaiah 41:8-13 (New International Version)


8 "But you, O Israel, my servant,
Jacob, whom I have chosen,
you descendants of Abraham my friend,

9 I took you from the ends of the earth,
from its farthest corners I called you.
I said, 'You are my servant';
I have chosen you and have not rejected you.

10 So do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

11 "All who rage against you
will surely be ashamed and disgraced;
those who oppose you
will be as nothing and perish.

12 Though you search for your enemies,
you will not find them.
Those who wage war against you
will be as nothing at all.

13 For I am the LORD, your God,
who takes hold of your right hand
and says to you, Do not fear;
I will help you.



These promises are not only for Israel, but for us Gentile's, we too are His people.

God Bless you all!! And never stop praying!

Rita M.