Life, Love, Faithfulness and Grace

I have so much I need to say...First of all I had the most wonderful 1 year being a Christian anniversary. God is sooooo amazing, during down time, during the best of times. And I just happen to be a witness of His eternal Grace, of His unfailing Faithfullness, of His love. I had been in such a desert, I had stopped reading my bible, I had stopped going to church for various reasons: 1. No transportation 2. No friends there 3. No desire...It feels terrible when you want to go to church and at the same time because of the situations feel so discouraged. But I prayed and prayed and I argued with God, and had no specific answers for months, 2 months to be exact. God let me know He was there and He knew my situation but I wanted to know when the desert would end when would things be like at the beginning. Almost 2 weeks ago God answered my questions. I had gone to church early, it was the first time I had been there for the first service in 2 months, and Pastor Miguel was talking about God's Grace and what it meant and how it worked. And I just felt my heart sing out to God to rain his Grace upon me, it was amazing because saturday oct 21st, at 3:00am I couldn't sleep and so I layed there on my bed talking to God about my problems once more, about wanting Him to rain His grace upon me, and the next day there I sat listening to the Pastor talk about God's Grace, how it is not gained, how it is undeserving, how it is through Jesus Christ and how it is given by God. It sounded like me, the last thing I deserved was God giving me what I had wanted so since day 1 at that church. After the service I happily went over to the nursery to see if they needed any help, but they didn't, instead I was sent with the Youth Pastor's Wife(she has a name I just don't know how to write it *blushes*) as her assistant for Sunday School (Ages 5-6 Group). For the first time in a year I had opened up to someone from that church and it was to her, she was SO nice to me and asked me all these questions about me and my life, she was a friend when I didn't actually feel like I needed one and it was great! But it doesn't end there, I had such a great time being an assistant and I expressed my happiness to her and she suggested I signed up as one! and I did! Finally! I had wanted to be a part of that church so badly, to be in one of the ministries! and I will finally be in one! So last sunday I went to the info booth and signed up! Oh my heart leaped with joy! And that is how the desert ended. God showed me Grace in such an amazing way! He says that when we are unfaithful to Him, He remains Faithful. Faithful to His promises, Faithful to His word. And He did.
I had been wanting to write this for so long, a week and 2 days to be exact. I'm glad I did.
Its so weird though, to be "alone". I had always had someone to talk to, or go out with. But now I walk the halls of my uni alone, I walk to the cafeteria alone. I go to church alone, or with my neighbour. Its strange really. I've grown to like it somehow. Sometimes I sit and wonder of all the things I could do. I've thought of going to "El Sitio de las Palomas" with my bible in hand and sit there and read while talking to God. Or walking the streets of La Zona colonial and see where God leads me. Bah, I'm rambling now. It's late, 3:30am to be exact and I think I better be off to bed.

God bless you all!!
Sleep well,
Rita M.